I have said it before and I want to say it again:  We were created for relationship; with our creator, and with others.  In fact, when asked which law was most important out of the hundreds and hundreds of laws the children of Israel had, Jesus answered that it was to love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength and to love our neighbor as ourselves. (Luke 10:27) Every relationship we have is summed up in that statement!  And, for those two things to be singled out from all the laws known to man shows just how serious this matter of relationships really is.  I am so passionate about sharing the information I have been sharing with you because I believe it is the key to all of life!  Let me share with you why.

First, let me say that I believe that part of our frustration in relationships comes because we get the sequence of Jesus’ answer all wrong.  He said that our first love has to be God.  He was the one who created us.  He is our Heavenly Father; we are His children.  He has a family connection to us and as the father of our family, He is the supreme authority who deserves to be listened to, respected, and obeyed.  He deserves to be loved because He is a father who loves us more than we can even begin to comprehend, and He always (whether we believe it or not) has our best interest at heart.

If you are a parent, you can identify with that parent/child relationship and you know that your own children have often balked at your authority or not understood your dictates being in their best interest.  When they desperately want to do something that you know would be harmful to them, you must say no.  No is not an answer that is readily and happily accepted.  In fact, the ensuing tantrums can be quite intense!  We want our children to love, respect, and trust us enough to follow our leadership.  God is no different and deserves no less!

Jesus’ answer then says that we are to love others as we do ourselves.  “As yourself” infers that we must love ourselves first before we can love others.  We often get that backwards.  We try to love others when we don’t love, understand, nor accept ourselves.  It just doesn’t work that way!

So, here’s my point in all of this and the reason I am so passionate about helping you to understand this DISC information.  When we really understand who we are and how we were designed, we are able to celebrate our uniqueness.  We are able to embrace the fact that everything ever created was created with a usefulness and purpose in mind.  And, we are drawn in reverence, awe, and love to the One who created us.  When we fully appreciate our design, we seek Him to understand the purpose for which we were created.  We love Him because He first loved us.  That’s the kind of relationship we are to have with Him.

When we are able to understand, accept and celebrate who we are, we are then more able to understand, appreciate and celebrate others.  But, the order has to be right:  God, first; ourselves, second; and then, others.

The DISC Model of Human Behavior is a tool that will help us in all of our relationships.  And, Jesus was sent here to be our mentor and to model how we should relate in each of those relationships.  He did it perfectly!  He related perfectly to His Father; He knew who He was; He knew what His purpose was; and He adjusted His style of communication in each and every situation to connect effectively with those with whom He interacted.

Knowing, understanding, and applying the personality information increases our chances of success in all of our relationships when we get the sequence of that scripture in the correct order and follow the example of Jesus in relating to others.

I so passionately want you to “get it” and I hope you do!

If you would like more in-depth information about personality styles, or would like to find out more about your own, visit my website at www.align90.com.  And, if you have a women’s group, business or ministry team who would benefit from learning more about how to effectively work together, I would love to work with you!  

Inside of every living thing, God has planted a seed.  It is His intended purpose for that seed to grow, mature, and produce life.  Just as that is true in nature, it is true in us as well.  Planted deep inside of who you are, is a seed that contains your destiny and a piece of God’s glory; a seed that when nurtured, will grow to produce fruit that will extend beyond yourself and your life.

As an Interaction Dynamics Specialist, I teach people to understand how they are wired and who they were created to be.  Nothing brings me greater joy than to see the light-bulbs of understanding go on in people as I teach, train, and write.  I know that is God’s intended purpose for me.  It is what I was designed to do!  And, when I’m doing what I was made to do, I feel like Eric Little in the movie, Chariots of Fire, when he said, “When I run, I feel God’s pleasure!”

Over the last few months I have written articles to help you begin to catch a glimpse of your design.  I hope by now that you are becoming aware of who you are and how you are wired.  Are you outgoing and focused on getting things done?  Are you outgoing, but have people as your focus?  Maybe you are focused on people, but tend to be more reserved.  Or, perhaps you are reserved and prefer to get your work done alone.  Whatever you are, you have been designed that way for a reason and what you are intended to do will best be expressed through your unique personality.

Are you aware that no one else in the whole wide world thinks or responds to life in exactly the same way you do?  Your family background, environmental influences, education, and life experiences, coupled with your personality make up, give you a uniquely different view of life.  Everything about you colors the way you process information and experiences.  That’s why it really is true that there is not now, nor will there ever be, anyone just like you.  So, then, it is also true that no one can fulfill God’s purpose or reflect His glory the way you can.

Some of you may be thinking, “Well, I don’t know what I was made to do.”  I believe that you may find a clue to that by looking at what has been most thwarted in your life.  Did you have big dreams to do grand things and accomplish large goals only to have them squashed or be told not to be ridiculous?  Were you made to feel that you couldn’t do those things?  Deep down inside you knew you were made for big things, but something made you doubt that you really could.  Let me tell you something – you really were made to accomplish big things, lead people, pioneer, discover.  The seed of those dreams was planted in you when you were born.  No matter what anyone else may have told you or made you to feel, you can now choose to let that seed germinate, take root and grow!

Were you an excited, talkative child who was “shushed” all the time and whose enthusiasm was not appreciated at home or at school?  You were created to talk and incite others to action.  You were designed to inspire.  You were crafted to use your voice and many words to encourage others.  Celebrate your design by allowing who you naturally are to shine as you were intended to do!  When you do, you are reflecting the glory of God’s encouraging nature.

It could be that you are a gentle and tender soul whose greatest desire is to help others.  Chances are that your softness has been interpreted as weakness.  You may have been told that you needed to toughen up, get over your feelings and quit being so sensitive.  May I tell you a secret?  The gentleness and tenderness of who you are reflects to the world that side of God’s character.  You may often be misunderstood as weak, but you have a quiet strength and level-headedness in the face of chaos that the rest of us need!

You may be a quiet thinker whose approach to life is cautious, careful and serious.  There is a good possibility that your many questions and insatiable desire to know the why of things have not been given credence.  Those who have a lighter view of life may have told you that you need to “lighten up” and not take things so seriously.  You may have been constantly pushed into social situations that were extremely uncomfortable for you.  What you need to know is that your purpose and destiny can be found within your unique take on life.  Many of the things that have been discovered about how things work have been found by people like you.  The deep and mysterious aspects of life are understood because of someone’s questioning and serious mind.

Let me tell you what I am NOT saying in all of this – that you can use your personality as an excuse for doing or not doing something; that you can use it as a weapon to inflict pain on someone else; that you can use it to pressure someone else into doing something you want them to do.  And, I certainly don’t believe that understanding the personality information is the only thing there is to understand about life.

What I AM saying is that your destiny – what you were made to do – will be found in how you were designed and that until you deeply understand who you were made to be, your purpose will be hard to find.  Don’t be afraid to take a look at those areas where you may have been hurt, misunderstood or suppressed.  They may hold clues for you and be the keys that will unlock your destiny!  Step into God’s purpose for you and be all that He created you to be.  Who you are was meant to be celebrated!

This time of year causes the majority of us to begin searching for the perfect gift for our loved ones and friends. In fact, just before Thanksgiving I was in a store doing some other shopping when I decided to look around to see if I could get some ideas for a gift for one of my dear friends. I really wasn’t looking to buy at that moment necessarily; I was just on a reconnaissance mission, I guess you could say. Anyway…suddenly I spied a quirky little Christmas tree that I thought my friend would enjoy. It was so cute and fun that for a brief moment, I considered keeping it for myself. I was thrilled with my find and excited to give it to her! Since I knew that she would be decorating soon for an early Christmas party, I wrapped it up and presented it to her later that very same day. She fairly danced with joy when she opened it. That was just the reaction I was hoping for! It gave me a great deal of pleasure to know that I had given her something that would bring a smile to her face for seasons to come.

Now, we all know that Christmas isn’t about giving the perfect gift to someone and that Jesus is the real reason for the season. Many an article, devotional and blog is written this time of year to remind us of that. And, in spite of the fact that we know that, we will still spend many hours in crowded malls and stores and spend lots of money on presents to put under our trees.

However, I would like to issue a challenge to you this year as you think about what you might give.

A few years ago our finances were tight leading up to the Christmas season. (Why is it that layoffs, downsizing and such always seems to happen right at the holidays?!) We have a large family, so we knew that buying gifts for everyone was out of the question, but I didn’t want to go empty-handed to our family celebration, so I decided to write each and every family member a special letter citing their many wonderful qualities and telling them how very special they were to me. I designed a pretty Christmas paper to print them on and lovingly tucked them into their envelopes.

Each person was deeply touched as they read their letters and even those who were too young to read yet, had eyes that sparkled as they heard what their parents read to them.

Scripture says that “life and death are in the power of the tongue”. Our words have great power in them to bless and encourage others. And, Proverbs tells us that “like apples of gold in settings of silver is a word spoken at the right time.” Those letters, though so simple and not at all some fancy gift purchased at the mall, were like gold to those who received them. They were cherished as if I had spent a lot of money to buy them. What I gave brought life.

Your finances may not be tight this year and you may not be limited at all in what you can give, but why not consider doing what I did? Take out a pen and piece of paper and write a note to those you love that lets them know just how special they are to you? It could be the best present they receive this Christmas season and one that they will cherish for years to come!